Friday, January 4

A Survivor's Word - Part IV's Deleted Scenes and More

Spirals Collide
The Ds Meet the Blogger
Zero Draft
12/27/12
"Yeah, you bet!" Destiny raised her hands and felt a stream of energy float out from them and lash at the Shadow Weaver. "Who are you?" "Destiny Devereaux.""Destiny Soultamer." A two-on-one battle with a single Shadow Weaver was alright, a simple fight. "We...have the same -""Name, I know. Call me Dead-eye, then." Dead-eye spun with her daggers, watching the Shadow Weaver fall. "Who's that in the corner?" A hunched figure in a sweatshirt sat comfortably on a pillow, tapping away at what looked like a sideways book. It looked up, looked back down to jot a few more notes, then snapped its fingers, making Dead-eye and Destiny (Soultamer) disappear. 

Hehehe, that was the first scene of a past idea for my fan-fiction, though I decided not to put it into action. However, I wrote in that scene as a joke recently, and wanted to share it. The hooded figure I thought to be myself, the blogger, the one behind all the chaos between the two sides of the Spiral, but - hey - that's another story entirely. How about we get to the good stuff?


If you need a bit of filling in, I'm writing a trilogy of  Pirate101 fan-fiction called The Sky's Ransom (trilogy). It started with Destiny Devereaux becoming a Dead-eye by escaping the Armada, but losing her friend only minutes after she meets him. Destiny hurries back to Skull Island, making a forced vow to Avery that she'll save the rest of the prisoners on the stalled Armada galleon. Where we last left off, Destiny was in a hurry to earn enough money to buy a ship so she could get to the galleon. I'd like you to read through this next chapter first, so you know what I talk about. Read part IV here!

Are you back? Alright, sit down here, I'll pass a few notes between us.

"DESTINY!" Remmy screamed over the Stormgate's exit as something gripped his collar. The famous Swashbuckler was still transfixed on Skull Island. He tried to yell again but a hand covered his mouth. Remmy tried to gasp but he inhaled a metal-y taste and decided not to try again. Destiny disappeared in the exit, and only then did Remmy look up. Deacon dipped his head.
"It's too late for you." Remmy heard Deacon snap and all became dark.
This scene is the one that I'll most likely use as an excuse for any consistency errors. Because Deacon leaves the galleon unmanned, getting Remmy back to Kane ASAP, he leaves the clockworks without orders, they don't do anything, yada yada yada. However, I do count this scene as one of my more violent scenes, though there are more to come. However, you'll learn that Deacon has a rather interesting side to him, and eventually becomes an unintended comic relief source.

"My dear boy, you've taken in too much of the batacuda's breath." Batacuda's breath was only a line in a nursery rhyme. Remmy tried to clear it from his head. "Take him down." Before he could rethink anything, Remmy's toes scraped the ground, and he was yelling.
"Even if it's the last thing I do, Kane, I will have your head!" He balled a free hand into a fist. "A survivor's word!" A cold hand covered his mouth, and he yelled against it. Maybe Kane just had that effect on people.
I wrote this scene at two in the morning, and it made me seriously cry. I edited a part out of this particular scene where Remmy fell into a series of thoughts telling his rather scary past, but I wanted to save that for a later part in the trilogy when things would come together. Also, check out the mention of the title in Remmy's cry. However, this entire scene (and the part edited out) falls back onto a short poem that I wrote while trying to help my friend go to sleep, eh, in October.
Hush, dear, now take a rest,
Inhale no more of the batacuda's breath,
So long a frigate's nook shelter your head
You need not hold your daggers, dreaming.
On the Island [Skull Island] they'll cheer your name
Sending hollers from the Shoals [Blood Shoals] to glory and fame
So long a frigate's nook hide arrogance
You need not wallow in fear of night.

The poem might explain why that scene scared me so much, as a matter of fact. However, I didn't want to confuse the reader on how emotional Remmy became from the line "batacuda's breath" and how the Armada used it, at least not right away, so I took it out.

"Rings. Jewelry, pendants, brooches." Destiny chanted to herself, sneaking up behind a cutthroat ship. She inched up the side and swung her legs over the rail. Making as little sound as she could muster, Destiny drew a dagger and, after a grin, jabbed the tip into a shark's tail. It turned wildly, and Destiny leaped in the air, methodically swiping at the shark's body as she made her way down. She repeated the process for every blue-skinned cutthroat.

"Okay, explain all of the – oh, hello, puppy!" Destiny's left eye twitched.
Not him again! Destiny yelled in her mind as Marcus drew two daggers.
Oh, yes - this scene. This scene was one of the first real fight scenes, and you read a little more after this. Of course, this scene ends in Destiny's rather quick defeat. At first, I thought this battle to be one of the last, and it spanned a page and a half which was huge for a single scene. However, my plot developed and several cuts to this fight were made. It was very hard to write the fights without too much blood (if I've complained to you about that enough, then you know why I'm saving it.

Overall, this chapter was more of a bridge to the others, and contained more emotional tension than many of the others. The next part has more of Delaney in it, and we learn quite a bit more about Destiny. I wanted to extend a very warm thank-you to the few people who have contributed names and ideas to the trilogy -  (in submitting order) Swordroll, V.V.V. and Aaron Starheart (with a wonderful theory AND a name). I'm not accepting any more at the moment, but I'll tell you guys when I do. For updates that are too short to post, check back to the page on the top bar regarding the trilogy.

Keep Traveling!
Des

P.S. If you've made it this far (thank you!), I'd like to know what you think of the writing analysis and explanation posts. They turned up at the top of my recent poll and I want to know what you guys had in mind when you voted. Thanks!

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